Monday, July 28, 2008

I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THE SPLITS. . . . .

I just didn't think I would be 52 years old, stark naked, and in the shower shaving my legs. . . I know, this may be way too much information for most of you, so you might want to stop reading now!

We have a tub/shower combo and I was just finishing up my shower before church Sunday morning, when I slipped while shaving my legs. All of a sudden my leg that was down slipped out from under me and the leg that was up stayed there! Not only did I do the splits, but I did it in mid-air. HOLY IT HURT LIKE CRAZY. I hollered for Craig, who thankfully was in the bedroom and came to my rescue, and has been taking good care of me. He hurt his shoulder at work 4 weeks ago so with his one good arm and my one good leg I managed to get out of the tub and hobble to the bed. It was actually funny. Fortunately, it didn't feel like I'd broken anything:I could rotate my ankle, wiggle my toes, flex and point my foot, there was no swelling. My knee, hip and head seemed okay. So, I've been icing it ever since and it is still so sore I holler when I have to move. I can walk, cautiously, but I can't sit down, turn or do anything that involves using my right thigh and glute muscles. ARGGGHHHH!!!!!! It has taken the phrase "pain in the butt" to an entirely new level for me and I have learned that is much greater than a slight irritation as I previously thought. A pain in the butt and thigh is brutal!

I called the advise nurse just to make sure that I was doing the right thing, and after she asked all her questions she advised me to go in and get an evaluation. I asked her what the treatment would be that would be worth the agony of going down stairs, and in and out of a car. Not to mention getting dressed. The nurse said she didn't have a magic wand so I figured I would tough it out with ice and tylenol. ( I have a kidney condition so I can't take motrin or advil, or the vicodan that was so lovingly offerred by not one, but two of my friends at church when Craig shared my exploits with them. It's good to have friends!)

Anyway, so here I very carefully sit 36 hours after the fact thinking what the heck am I going to do about this? I've already read 2 books and watched HGTV until I could probably win Design Superstar. I can always look forward to "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, DANCE, DANCE" on Wednesday night and finally vote for Twitch --- I'm so glad Will went home instead of him. Tomorrow my goal is going to be to figure out how I can sit and scrapbook with my leg elevated? It might not happen. Good times.

4 comments:

Holley said...

Wow that is a memory in the making. I hope you feel better soon!

MarkandBec said...

Oh my gosh- I just laughed SOOO hard! Thank you for sharing that... still laughing out loud! Good one honey! I love you mom-

da Bergs said...

I am sitting her laughing SO hard! SORRY! LOL!!! But, the image that came to mind... (no YOU personally, but ANYONE our age doing the splits in the shower!!!) You crack me up! But, I DO hope you feel GOOD soon!
What is up with your kidneys??!!!

The Gargalis family said...

Nicely posted mom. I am jealous though, I can't do the splits at all. Hang in there, my offer to come clean if Josh isn't doing a good enough job still stands...Love you.